User talk:TheOutsiderRika
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:Picture069.jpg page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Look at what our editors have written at the User Submissions page. If you upload OC (Original Content, or something that you wrote instead of found on the Internet), be sure to tag it with the Category:OC category AND add it to the User Submissions page. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! LOLSKELETONS (talk) 01:41, December 8, 2013 (UTC) Don't Don't re-upload previously deleted pages. If you do it again, you'll get banned. There are other ways to show people your work. E-mail. Printing it out. Google docs. Pastebin. And many, many, many more. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 21:35, February 5, 2014 (UTC) RE: Deletion Okay, first off it's more or less impossible to read. Don't screw with font or text color. It's also one big wall of text. That's not just a formatting issue or readability issues, it's a grammar issue at times. There's spelling issues, punctuation issues, phrasing issues, there's some sentences I didn't fully understand, there's some sentences I think are the result of mistakes. The biggest issue is that it's not a great story. Aside from typos and punctuation problems, your writing isn't bad, but there's very little story and it isn't told very well. The story can be summed up as this: guy likes skating, guy dies. Now, you can reduce any sort down to such a glib summary, but the problem is with your story you can't add much more on. Guy likes skating, guy sees mysterious figure on the ice, guy is bullied, guy dies. I think that hits most of the key points of your story. There's not a lot of plot to carry the reader through. There's not much to engage them. On top of that, the story is very vague. The other person on the ice is Jeremy, right? Like a premonition. But it doesn't really come into play. Subtlety is good, it's great, but you need to give a little more so that the reader can be intrigued and so you can pay it off. I've read the end a few times and I'm still not sure what happens. Jeremy is kneeling, Dutch pushes him and for some reason he hits so hard that this incredible injury happens. But I don't see how. If I'm being an idiot here, please tell me, because maybe I'm missing it. That's a problem. It completely undercuts your ending. There's good questions and bad questions a reader can ask. Good questions are when they want to know more about the story because they're interested. Bad questions are when they don't understand. There's also an issue of it just barely being a creepypasta. There's the mysterious figure and the injury, but overall the story doesn't have that fear vibe, that creepy vibe, that tension. I would be willing to concede that it's creepypasta if it weren't for the other problems. I hope you do keep writing, because, like I said, your writing style is not bad. You have a foundation there. YOu just need to work on spelling, self-editing and storytelling. Storytelling is the hardest, it requires a lot of reading and a lot of practice. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 21:56, February 5, 2014 (UTC)